Recently I've gone on a health kit. I've been loving reading about new exercises, tips for runners, and nutrition. Today I read an interesting fact about water. I'm sure I've heard it before, but today I looked at it in a different way.
"Our body, like the earth, is 60 per cent to 70 per cent water. We float in water even before we’re born. Survival is possible for a few weeks without food, but for only a few days without water. About two litres of water is lost daily through breathing, sweating and kidney function. Water is part of every cell in our bodies. It aids digestion and metabolism, and the body’s ability to burn calories. It helps muscles move without cramping, supports vision, brain and kidney function, and maintains blood pressure and body temperature. Lack of water can increase fat deposits, bloating and constipation." (From Divine.ca, Canada's Online Women Magazine)
It got me thinking about the importance of water. Our bodies cannot function without enough water. Water is essential. I can think of times when my body became dehydrated because I did drink enough water. I became weak, irritable, moody, sick....
"Jesus said to her, "Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water."" John 4:13-15
I think recently I've been spiritually dehydrated. I haven't been drawing from the source of living water, but have been trying to dig my own well in the middle of the desert. Ive been wondering around searching. The longer I wonder, the more frustrated I become. The longer I search, the more my desire for water diminishes...the only place I can become hydrated is from being with Jesus. Even when I feel busy and overwhelmed, I need to draw water from Jesus. Even when I can't feel him or don't think He's near, I run to Jesus.
So, this is the beginning of a new season for me. I'm no longer going to wonder around the desert searching for water. I'm going to draw water from the only place where I will no longer become thirsty.
Water is essential.
My time with Jesus is essential.
"Oh Lord I need you. Capture me. Come steal me away. Take me deeper to your heart. Surround me with you love and hold me close and never, never let me go. So close that I can feel your every breath until my heart begins to dance with yours. Never let me go. Won't you take me to a new place, to a realm of mercy and grace where love, love flows heavy. Oh Lord I need you. Capture me. Come steal me away. Take me deeper to your heart. Surround me with your love and hold me close and never, never let me go...Like a waterfall of honey let your love be pured down on me, OVERCOME ME!" --Waterfall by United Pursuit Band
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
A Beautiful Mess...
Last week was a train wreck. It was hard. I felt and expressed emotions I did not even know existed....
Last year, about this time, my family got word that my Pa's (grandpa) prostate cancer had returned. We always knew this was a possibility, but the possibility had become our reality. The doctors then gave him one to two years to live, if the treatments did not work; and two to five if they did work. So, they started him on chemotherapy treatments and regular visits to Houston. Things have been good, until a few weeks ago. He was then rushed to the ER by my Mimi because Pa was in so much pain. They then found that the cancer is active and has spread and he has multiple tumors on his spine. This was devestating news to my family.
Last week Pa was admitted to M.D. Anderson Hospital in Houston because he was in so much pain from his cancer. The doctors attending him told him there was no hope. We were told that this treatment he was doing was the last one available to try, and if that did not work then hospice would be called in. We were all devestated! Friday night was a terrible night for Pa. He was in so much pain, but faught and made it through the night. Saturday morning, he called my mom, uncles, and Mimi in the room to talk to them. He told them that he did not think he was going to make it through last night. That morning I went up to see him at the hospital. When I walked in the room his face lite up. He then said, "Rebekah, I want to show you something."..He stood up on his own, and then said, with a smirk on his face and slurred together because of the morphine, "See, I'm okay. I'm okay." I then started tearing up, of course; and about 2 o'clock Saturday afternoon he got to go home. :)
Monday night I was in night class and got a call from my mom. I was so nervous to answer, because every phone call I got from her last week was bad news. So, I ran out of class and called her back. Anxiously waiting, she said "Hey! What are you doing", in a tone that was not present last week. She went on to tell me that Pa's doctor had called today and told them some good news. His regular doctor, the one he has seen for a year now, was sick last week so she was not able to see him or attend to him while he was in the hospital last week. His doctor was furious at the doctors that were attending him last week for telling him that this is the end. She then told my grandparents that there are several more treatments we can try for his cancer and she does not think this is the end. She said, "when I think we are coming to the end, I will let you know; but I don't think we are!"
PRAISE THE LORD FOR THAT!!!!!! We have been praying and praying, hundreds of other people have been praying, and the Lord is so GOOD!!!! He has calmed the storm in our family and is covering us with peace. We don't know what the weeks ahead will hold, but right now the Lord is showing favor to my family in answering our cries to Him for help. He has heard every word and is constantly providing comfort and encouragement in this time.
I was in psychology class today and we were talking about symantics and symbols of language and how there are infinite combinations of them to form sentances. Although there are infinite combinations of symantics and symbols, NONE can ever describe the goodness of the Lord!!!!!!!!!
Last year, about this time, my family got word that my Pa's (grandpa) prostate cancer had returned. We always knew this was a possibility, but the possibility had become our reality. The doctors then gave him one to two years to live, if the treatments did not work; and two to five if they did work. So, they started him on chemotherapy treatments and regular visits to Houston. Things have been good, until a few weeks ago. He was then rushed to the ER by my Mimi because Pa was in so much pain. They then found that the cancer is active and has spread and he has multiple tumors on his spine. This was devestating news to my family.
Last week Pa was admitted to M.D. Anderson Hospital in Houston because he was in so much pain from his cancer. The doctors attending him told him there was no hope. We were told that this treatment he was doing was the last one available to try, and if that did not work then hospice would be called in. We were all devestated! Friday night was a terrible night for Pa. He was in so much pain, but faught and made it through the night. Saturday morning, he called my mom, uncles, and Mimi in the room to talk to them. He told them that he did not think he was going to make it through last night. That morning I went up to see him at the hospital. When I walked in the room his face lite up. He then said, "Rebekah, I want to show you something."..He stood up on his own, and then said, with a smirk on his face and slurred together because of the morphine, "See, I'm okay. I'm okay." I then started tearing up, of course; and about 2 o'clock Saturday afternoon he got to go home. :)
Monday night I was in night class and got a call from my mom. I was so nervous to answer, because every phone call I got from her last week was bad news. So, I ran out of class and called her back. Anxiously waiting, she said "Hey! What are you doing", in a tone that was not present last week. She went on to tell me that Pa's doctor had called today and told them some good news. His regular doctor, the one he has seen for a year now, was sick last week so she was not able to see him or attend to him while he was in the hospital last week. His doctor was furious at the doctors that were attending him last week for telling him that this is the end. She then told my grandparents that there are several more treatments we can try for his cancer and she does not think this is the end. She said, "when I think we are coming to the end, I will let you know; but I don't think we are!"
PRAISE THE LORD FOR THAT!!!!!! We have been praying and praying, hundreds of other people have been praying, and the Lord is so GOOD!!!! He has calmed the storm in our family and is covering us with peace. We don't know what the weeks ahead will hold, but right now the Lord is showing favor to my family in answering our cries to Him for help. He has heard every word and is constantly providing comfort and encouragement in this time.
I was in psychology class today and we were talking about symantics and symbols of language and how there are infinite combinations of them to form sentances. Although there are infinite combinations of symantics and symbols, NONE can ever describe the goodness of the Lord!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Learning to Feel Again..
Trust is such a fragile thing. According to Provers 3:5, trust is a heart thing. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.." For so long my heart has been so broken that I have not been able to trust. I've been scared. Trying to love people, but terrified that loving people would break my heart even more--scared of not being loved back. I've been trying to love people, but have been completely broken--trying to love people out of my own love for them, but failing because I've been so broken. Because of the past I've been holding back my heart and myself from people. Because of the past I have not been trusting people completely. I only put a little bit of myself out there, but if I feel like I'm being too vulnerable I pull my heart right back into it's safe box. The problem with the safe box is that my heart wasn't able to feel anything but the brokenness from the past. My heart has been in complete darkness and has been sufficating. I haven't let my heart feel anything--joy, sadness, heartbreak, excitement. If ever I have felt anything other than contentment I immediately rebuke the feeling. Whether it's sadness and the tears start coming, or butterflies from a boy and excitement in my heart; I immediately tell my heart to stop. Recently the Lord so graciously took me back to the root of why I act like this, of why I constantly cover my heart with bubble wrap, and lazor motion detectors, and machine guns, and completely shut down at the smallest sight of danger--a.k.a. feeling. He told me I was trusting people instead of trusting Him. I was placing my heart in the hands of weak and broken people, instead of His strong and steadfast hands.
So, I'm learning that the more I place my heart in His hands and trust Him, the more I am able to trust people. I am confident that my heart is safe and secure in my Father's hands. That doesn't mean I will never be hurt or disappointed, but it does mean that I will never be completely broken. I will never feel hopeless or lost again after putting my heart out there, because my hope is in the Lord.
Trust is a funny thing. The more I trust the Lord, the more my brokennes is healed. The more I am able to feel.
"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?" Psalm 56:3-4
So, I'm learning that the more I place my heart in His hands and trust Him, the more I am able to trust people. I am confident that my heart is safe and secure in my Father's hands. That doesn't mean I will never be hurt or disappointed, but it does mean that I will never be completely broken. I will never feel hopeless or lost again after putting my heart out there, because my hope is in the Lord.
Trust is a funny thing. The more I trust the Lord, the more my brokennes is healed. The more I am able to feel.
"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?" Psalm 56:3-4
Thursday, August 11, 2011
A Beautiful Exchange: Eve
Discipleship school may be over, but the fire the Lord lit inside my heart has not been quenched--it has actually been multiplied. I feel like such a hungry little baby and all I want to do is sit at my Father's feet and let Him feed me. This past week I have been going over teachings from d-school and listening to the teachings that really stirred my heart. While going back over my notes I came across a pink sheet about the women in Bible that Deanna Fields gave us during our "Woman of God" talk. I really enjoyed Deanna's talk and how she told us we have to fight. We were not meant to be women in distress, although sometimes our men need to be able to rescue us. God made us to be warriors just like men. He made us to fight for our families through prayer.
So, I started going over the pink sheet she gave us and it started with Eve. On the sheet there were three columns: Column 1: Women of the Bible--it was the woman, and where you could find them in the Bible; Column 2: what that woman let go of; and Column 3: what that woman picked up in exchange for what she let go of. For example, Eve was the first woman and "she exchanged death for hope of redemption." At first I was a bit confused. I asked myself, "How did Eve pick up hope? She basically lost both her sons after Cain killed Able." So I went back and read the whole story Deanna had written down on the sheet.
As I read I heard the Lord say, "Her hope was in my promise to her, not in her circumstance." This made me think back on Sunday at lifegroup when we split up into groups and talked about what we learned this summer. Something Brett said going along with what he had learned was, "God means what He says. He doesn't just say something and then is like 'Ooops, why'd I say that! Now I have to actually do it. No, He means what He says when He speaks." And this is exactly what Eve held on to.
In Genesis 3:15, the Lord says "...he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel." and then Genesis 4: 25 says, "And Adam knew his wife again, and she bore a son and called his name Seth, for she said, "God has appointed for me another offspring instead of Abel, for Cain killed him." The Lord spoke and said that something would come through Eve (her seed) and stomp the serpent. Eve held tight to the promises of the Lord because she had been with Him and knew His character.
So many times I find myself doubting the things the Lord has told me. I question the things He has prophesied to me through other people and the things He has told me himself. I often find myself saying, "Well, I probably made that up", or "I must have heard wrong, He wouldn't promise me that." Eve has encouraged me to cling tight to the things the Lord has said to me. Even if I heard wrong, clinging to His promises will draw me closer to Him and keep me safe in His arms. Knowing He is faithful and keeps His promises is so freeing, and He longs for us to walk in that freedom!
One of my favorite scriptures of all time.
Isaiah 54:10-14
"For the mountiains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you. "O afflicted one, storm-tossed and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in antimony, and lay your foundations with sapphires. I will make your pinnacles of agate (jasper/ruby), your gates of carbuncles (crystal), and your wall of precious stones. All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children. In righteousness you shall be established; you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear; and from terror, for it shall not come near you."
Eve exchanged death for hope of redemption because she clung to the faithfulness of the Lord.
Lord, give me eyes to see and remember your faithfulness in my life. Transform my heart to be so confident in the power of your great love that in all circumstances my hope is in you. I cling to the promises you have spoke over my life. I cling tight to the desires in my heart you have promised to fulfill. Please continue to reveal your faithfulness to me. I trust you. And I love you. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
So, I started going over the pink sheet she gave us and it started with Eve. On the sheet there were three columns: Column 1: Women of the Bible--it was the woman, and where you could find them in the Bible; Column 2: what that woman let go of; and Column 3: what that woman picked up in exchange for what she let go of. For example, Eve was the first woman and "she exchanged death for hope of redemption." At first I was a bit confused. I asked myself, "How did Eve pick up hope? She basically lost both her sons after Cain killed Able." So I went back and read the whole story Deanna had written down on the sheet.
As I read I heard the Lord say, "Her hope was in my promise to her, not in her circumstance." This made me think back on Sunday at lifegroup when we split up into groups and talked about what we learned this summer. Something Brett said going along with what he had learned was, "God means what He says. He doesn't just say something and then is like 'Ooops, why'd I say that! Now I have to actually do it. No, He means what He says when He speaks." And this is exactly what Eve held on to.
In Genesis 3:15, the Lord says "...he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel." and then Genesis 4: 25 says, "And Adam knew his wife again, and she bore a son and called his name Seth, for she said, "God has appointed for me another offspring instead of Abel, for Cain killed him." The Lord spoke and said that something would come through Eve (her seed) and stomp the serpent. Eve held tight to the promises of the Lord because she had been with Him and knew His character.
So many times I find myself doubting the things the Lord has told me. I question the things He has prophesied to me through other people and the things He has told me himself. I often find myself saying, "Well, I probably made that up", or "I must have heard wrong, He wouldn't promise me that." Eve has encouraged me to cling tight to the things the Lord has said to me. Even if I heard wrong, clinging to His promises will draw me closer to Him and keep me safe in His arms. Knowing He is faithful and keeps His promises is so freeing, and He longs for us to walk in that freedom!
One of my favorite scriptures of all time.
Isaiah 54:10-14
"For the mountiains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you. "O afflicted one, storm-tossed and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in antimony, and lay your foundations with sapphires. I will make your pinnacles of agate (jasper/ruby), your gates of carbuncles (crystal), and your wall of precious stones. All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children. In righteousness you shall be established; you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear; and from terror, for it shall not come near you."
Eve exchanged death for hope of redemption because she clung to the faithfulness of the Lord.
Lord, give me eyes to see and remember your faithfulness in my life. Transform my heart to be so confident in the power of your great love that in all circumstances my hope is in you. I cling to the promises you have spoke over my life. I cling tight to the desires in my heart you have promised to fulfill. Please continue to reveal your faithfulness to me. I trust you. And I love you. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Today, I am ready!
Almost 5 days until my dream of going to Africa comes true. This day I will never forget. Not only because I will be going to Uganda, but also because this day represents the Lord's faithfulness to me. When I was very little the Lord wrote "Africa" on my heart. I never knew why, but even when I was lost I would always say, "I'm going to move to Africa," or "I just want to go be with the orphans in Africa." I didn't realize until I started D-school that the reason I always said those things is because the Lord wrote "Africa" on my heart before the beginning of time. And eventhough I was lost and didn't know the Lord, His word spoken over my life was always going to be on my heart. Once I came to know the Lord, He began to give me more of His heart for Africa. The more I seeked His heart, the more He stirred me up.
Now, after a journey of not knowing the Lord, to being radically rocked by His love and His community He has placed in my life; my dream of going to comes true! It seems so surreal to me. I always wanted to go, but never thought it would happen. And now that I am following the Lord and going after His Kingdom, He is taking me to the place that He gave me His heart for. I no longer only get to stand in the gap for those people, but I get to go!
He's letting me go!
I feel like a little kid who has been waiting every since they were in kindergarden to play on the big playground, but they were always told that was for big kids. The little kid who always had to watch the big kids have all the fun playing on the monkey bars, slide down the twisty slide, and jump from tire to tire. But now, my teacher says, "Today, you are ready. You get to go play on the big playground. You get to go to the place you have been dreaming of going ever since you were a little girl." This is how I feel with my trip to Africa. I feel like all those years of waiting to go were the Lord bringing my life into alignment with His plan. It was Him growing me in the things of His kingdom so that when I go I won't just be going. I will be going and the Kingdom of God will be coming with me!
My dad is so faithful in His promises and His timing is perfect!
Thank you Jesus for being patient with me.
![]()
Now, after a journey of not knowing the Lord, to being radically rocked by His love and His community He has placed in my life; my dream of going to comes true! It seems so surreal to me. I always wanted to go, but never thought it would happen. And now that I am following the Lord and going after His Kingdom, He is taking me to the place that He gave me His heart for. I no longer only get to stand in the gap for those people, but I get to go!
He's letting me go!
I feel like a little kid who has been waiting every since they were in kindergarden to play on the big playground, but they were always told that was for big kids. The little kid who always had to watch the big kids have all the fun playing on the monkey bars, slide down the twisty slide, and jump from tire to tire. But now, my teacher says, "Today, you are ready. You get to go play on the big playground. You get to go to the place you have been dreaming of going ever since you were a little girl." This is how I feel with my trip to Africa. I feel like all those years of waiting to go were the Lord bringing my life into alignment with His plan. It was Him growing me in the things of His kingdom so that when I go I won't just be going. I will be going and the Kingdom of God will be coming with me!
My dad is so faithful in His promises and His timing is perfect!
Thank you Jesus for being patient with me.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Stirred up
Today, at D-school Randy and Callye Boyd came to speak to us. They are a very powerful couple who love the Lord and have a heart for His people. After hearing Callye speak today, I realized I want to be just like her.
She is a woman of God.
She loves the Lord.
She is strong.
She is powerful and walks in the authority Jesus gave her.
She loves well.
And people are drawn to Jesus because of the love she shows them.
She is confident in the promises God has told her.
She walks by faith.
She is humble.
She challenges her family.
She submits to her husband.
She is transparent.
She dies to herself daily and does the will of God.
Lord, teach me to be all these things in my own way. That these things wouldn't lead to comparison, but would challenge me to let you grow me. They would teach me to be transparent. Teach me to love well and uncondiotionally. Only you can transform me Jesus. I want to be more like you. Not my will, but yours be done.
She is a woman of God.
She loves the Lord.
She is strong.
She is powerful and walks in the authority Jesus gave her.
She loves well.
And people are drawn to Jesus because of the love she shows them.
She is confident in the promises God has told her.
She walks by faith.
She is humble.
She challenges her family.
She submits to her husband.
She is transparent.
She dies to herself daily and does the will of God.
Lord, teach me to be all these things in my own way. That these things wouldn't lead to comparison, but would challenge me to let you grow me. They would teach me to be transparent. Teach me to love well and uncondiotionally. Only you can transform me Jesus. I want to be more like you. Not my will, but yours be done.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Off-Season Workouts
So, I always was an athlete. I played everything there was to play. Did the hardest workouts of my life, and sometimes extra to get in shape for the specific sport I was in, especially if it was softball. There was an intensity in my workouts because of my passion to be excellent. I can remember staying after off-season workouts to run an extra two miles to be in shape for pitching. (Part of it was I was running away from reality because I didn't want to deal with the boyfriend I had at the time and him getting on to me for not coming to his house right after school. Running gave me an excuse to not talk to him.) But, also part of it was because I wanted to be in tip-top shape for when it was time for me to shine and for all the eyes to be on me as I pitched my heart out on the pitchers mound. I had a passion to be excellent at pitching. I had a passion to see batters swing at my curve ball, to hear the umpire shout "Strike Three! You're Out!!" and do the motion with his hands saying the batter was out. I had a passion to see the batter walk back to the dug out hanging there head down, and for everyone to be shouting for me and what I had just done. I had a passion for my name to be known all around our district for my junk pitches that kept batters on their toes. And I worked hard to be excellent. Many times I would fail or have an off day, but my passion to be excellent was still there. My conviction to be excellent was still there.
Right now, I feel like I am in the "off-season" in this season in my life. Not that I'm not pouring out into people or telling people about Jesus, but that I am in a break from school and the business that comes with taht. And I am in a season of preparation for the future season He is going to take me into. I am preparing for battle. I'm preparing for His glory to shine through me and the gifts He is giving me right now. I am studying hard, reading a lot, and diving deeper with the Lord and learning more about His heart for me and for His people. I have a passion for His name to be glorified in my life. I have a conviction for His name and glory to be spread all around the world like He has always planned. For people to see Him shine brightly in my life, instead of them seeing me. I have a passion for His glory to be spread among the earth and people to know Him and the life He has for them to grab a hold of. "Passion is not a feeling. It is a conviction. Even when we don't feel it we can worship Jesus and lift His name higher because we know He is worthy." (14:12). I have a passion for satan to flee from people's lives and chains to be broken because Jesus gave us all authority and all I have to do is say, "You're out of there!!!!" I have a passion for all peoples to hear the gospel so God can finally send satan back to the burning fire where he belongs. To see him walk with His head down back to his dug out, while the Lord stands on the pitchers mound shining with ALL of His glory! I have a passion for the Lord's name to be lifted high in every nation and for Him to draw nations to himself! (John 12:32) I want to work for the glory of the Lord with intensity and passion for His name to win hearts!
I have an everlasting conviction that Jesus is Lord and He is more than worthy of having control of my life. His name is more than worthy of being lifted high in my life, and being spread among the nations. Even when I don't feel like it. Even when I am tired. Jesus will be lifted higher in my life because He is worthy.
I want to be in tip-top shape for future seasons the Lord has instore for me, and for the battles the Lord has equipped me and continues to equip me in I am facing today. I want the same intensity I had to workout so I could be excellent at pitching, to go deeper with the Lord. The intensity of going after His heart for His will to be done all over the earth.
Jesus, all for your glory I am yours. Not my will, but yours be done. Refine me, remake me, remove my selfishness from me, so that your glory will be known to those around me. And people will come to know you because your radiance shines through me. Not my will, but yours be done.
John 3:30
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