Deja Vu...??

"Tomorrow is the start of my 13 week stay at Camp Eagle. No phone, no internet; I'll get to spend the whole summer away from reality and intune with God....with anxious/nervous/excited feelings I'll head to Rocksprings. Excited to spend the summer with Jesus, but the voice of satan constantly speaks in my head. "You're not going to have enough strength", "Those kids aren't going to like you", "You're going to get so tired", "You're going to get homesick"....all of these and more satan tells me every day! I struggle to deny them and claim they aren't true. I struggle to put my complete trust in God that He will give me the strength, the words, and the love to do what He has planned. I believe that great things are going to happen this summer. Bigger things than I ever thought could possibly happen, but it's hard for me to believe that I will play a part in them and that God will work through me. I continue to struggle to trust God in every aspect of my life, especially with the relationships that are going to be formed soon.I have a couple of goals for the summer: 1. Become completely confident in God and trust Him in every aspect of my life; especially in relationships with other people. 2. Know and believe what God thinks about me. 3. Start to have complete faith in God's plan for my life and know that He is in control."

I wrote this blog two year ago before I left for camp for the first time. It's funny how not many things have changed. I'm still nervous, anxious, excited, terrified, and hopeful for all that God is going to do this summers still nervous about the relationships with campers and counselors, and that I won't have what it takes to make a difference...and those are legit reasons to be nervous. Because I don't have what it takes. I don't have what it takes to make relationships work or make a difference in campers lives or to even go deeper with the Lord. I don't have what it takes, but Jesus does!

I know this better than last time I worked at camp. I feel like this past season I have walked in, more than ever, I have learned that I don't have what it takes. I'm weak, broken, anxious, insecure and ignorant--but Jesus isn't. He is what gives me strength to keep pouring in after days weeks of campers, he gives me hope after hearing the broken stories of camper's home lives, he gives me peace when the world around me is crazy, and gives me confidence in who I am and who He created me to be!

I'm thankful for this because now I can go to camp not being worried or afraid, but confident and excited to see all that God is going to do this summer.

Satan is trying to distract me an make me scared or afraid because he knows what all God is going to do. He's scared and afraid of the kingdom of God coming and wrecking campers this summer! But his tricks are all the same...God is going to do work this summer. He's going to wreck campers lives and wreck mine. When satan attacks it only makes me more excited because I know he's scared...

My goals for this summer: 1. Dive in so much deeper with the Lord. 2. Submit my plans Him who knows what I need better than I do. & 3. Learn to love people unconditionally and extravagantly.

Life is WONDERFUL!

So, six months ago I decided to make the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I decided to trust God with my life and transfer to ACU. All my life people have told me "if you ask God for things in your life He will fulfill them bigger and better than you could ever imagine," Boy were they right! Six months ago I trusted the Lord that my move to ACU would be where and what I needed. God continues to blow my expectations completely out of the water! He has blessed my life with so many people who I am loving living life with! They are wonderful people who continually help me grow closer to God and encourage me to hear His truths. They are teaching me to trust God in every aspect of my life, including relationships. I have grown so much this past half-a-year. I look back and don't even know who that person is. It amazes me how good God is and how loving He is. It really is true if you put all your faith in him he will not let you down. He will give you MORE than what you ask for. He WILL fulfill your every desire. He put them there for a reason and they will not go unfulfilled. I have learned that God's timing is the best timing. It is 11 days until we leave for Camp Eagle and God continues to encourage me by putting different people with different testamonies in my life. Through those people He is teaching me I am worthy through him. He is teaching me to trust him with my whole heart and life, not just parts. I am expecting amazing things this summer, and I know God will completely blow my expectations away! I cannot wait to see all that He is going to do this summer! :)