Give Me Faith

"Give me faith to trust what you say that You're good and Your love is great.."

I've sung these words so many times but never thought God would take them so literal. Right now I'm in a season of growth in my faith. Things are happening in my life that I do not at all understand. I don't understand why one of my best friends has to bury her mom when she's 22 years old. I don't understand why there are starving kids in Africa but every where you look there's an all-you-can-eat buffet or a place that you can supersize something. Or how I can take a clean, hot shower every day, three times a day sometimes, yet there are places that don't even have running water OR clean water...I don't understand this. I don't understand how such a loving God can let terrible things happen to his children. I don't understand how people, Gods children who are so loved and fortunate, can be so greedy and hateful. I don't understand why God lets there be war and murder and hatred. How girls can feel inadequate every day because of this society we live in and never know their true value as beautiful daughters of a mighty king....I just don't understand...

I just don't...and I don't think I ever will...

I can beat myself up and get depressed and by all these things I will never understand, or I can have faith.

I can have faith that God is good and that He loves me. Me! He loves me more than I could ever imagine. He gives me hope. I can have faith that He is faithful and generous. That He is just and fair when nothing else in the world is. And that he is kind, oh my God is so kind and sweet to me. That He comforts me and is never far away. That He separated me from my sin as far as the east is from the west. That I have the hope and strength to face tomorrow because He's faithful and has already crushed my enemy. He's already WON and all I have to do is receive His love and receive His grace!!!!

That doesn't mean there won't be hard times, because there are. But the sweetness of the hard times is that joy comes in the morning. And there's always sun after the rain no matter what I may feel in the moment. God knows me better than I know myself and He knows what I need.

Faith is about trusting Him when I can't see the whole picture.
It's about knowing His heart---and I know His heart is for me because He loves me.

Faith isn't about understanding. It's about obedience. It's about trust. Faith is about surrendering and submitting.

So Lord, give me faith to TRUST what you say that you're good and your love is great...

Trust and Other Hard Things...

A sweet family friend of mine gave me a daily devotional called Jesus Calling. Now, I'm not one who usually does daily devotionals. I just didn't like them and that it makes me feel like if I read that one page I'm done with my time with Jesus for the day. But this one has been different. EVERY time I read it it's exactly what I need to hear....Every time!

Most of the things I read are about trust. I've always had a hard time with trusting. I think it has to do with my fear of giving up control, because if I can't do it on my own then I can't control it and if I can't control it then I don't know what the outcome is going to be....Jesus has been speaking to me a lot about that....March 18, 21, 26, 29....April 2, 7, 8, 10, 12, and 15....

Today's devotional about trust couldn't have come soon enough.
It says, "Trust me, and do not be afraid. Many things feel out of control. Your routines are not running smoothly. You tend to feel more secure when your life is predictable. Let Me lead you to the rock that is higher than you and your circumstances. Take refuge in the shelter of My wings, where you are absolutely secure. When you are shaken out of your comfortable routines, grip My hand tightly and look for growth opportunities. Instead of bemoaning the loss of your comfort, accept the challenge of something new. I lead you on from glory to glory, making you fit for My kingdom. Say yes to the ways I work in your life. Trust Me, and don't be afraid."

"When you are shaken out of your comfortable routines, grip My hand tightly and look for growth opportunities."


I really don't like to give up control....I think because for so long someone else was telling me what to do, what to wear, and what to eat that now having me give up control is like pulling teeth. I don't like it. It's hard for me. It's especially hard for me to give up control of things that I know I have NO control over anyways. Today, one of my best friend's parents were in a car accident. Her dad is okay, but they're not saying it's good for her mom. I so badly want to go and fix everything. I want to heal her mom and put everything back to normal. I want to make her broken heart better and keep her from feeling this hurt and pain and suffering---but I can't. I can't do anything. I'm stuck in Abilene and can't do anything. All I can do is pray and trust that the Lord will be faithful to His word that He is our comfort.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's suffering, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for our comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you also share in our comfort." 2 Corinthians 1:3-7


I think in the midst of suffering I forget about the eternal comfort that I have....I think it's because I know it's not suppose to be like this. We're not suppose to suffer like this. People aren't suppose to die from being miserable and fighting cancer or suddenly have to fight for their lives because of a car accident. We're not suppose to have to mourn for those we love. We aren't suppose to grieve like this. WE WEREN'T CREATED FOR THIS! WE WERE CREATED FOR MORE! We were created for heavenly things, but we were selfish and greedy and had to reach for something God told us not to. And because of that we mourn. We suffer. We grieve. And we wait for the day when Jesus comes back riding on a cloud, trumpet roaring in air, and takes us home, forever. Where there is no more pain or sorrow or  hurt or jealousy or grief or despair or impatience or abuse or worthlessness or suicide or accidents. Everything is on purpose and everything is beautiful. And we will worship the Lord forever and ever. We will be restored to glory and finally be home.

It seems to me the closer we get to that day, the more suffering we endure. There seems to be more suffering in this world. The people I love are suffering more. I am grieving more....the day the Lord comes will be the most beautiful day!

Until that day we try and trust the Lord.
We try to trust His plan.
We try to give up control.
We try to stop trying to understand...
And we cling to the only hope we have. The hope found in our savior Jesus Christ, who will one day come and rescue us from this earth.

I cannot wait for the day when I hear the loud trumpet sound, brightness fills the earth, and I see my true love riding on a cloud to come and rescue me. To come and take me home. To lift me out of the hurt and pains of this world. I cannot wait for that day....

Lord, please come quickly!!!

Jeremiah 29:11

For the past few months I have watched my roommates walk into completely different seasons of life. Seasons where they are having to trust the Lord with the plans for the future and not rely on their own ability to make something happen...I haven't really thought much about it because I had a whole other year in school. Had? Yes, I said had....I found out a few Thursdays ago that wasn't the case anymore. I no longer would be graduating in May, but DECEMBER! Talk about shock! I will admit, I freaked out when I first got the news. I was scared, anxious, excited, shocked, terrified, happy, and felt like I was going to vomit all at the same time. I didn't have a year to plan or save or anything anymore. In less than a year I would graduate and have to leave the place I have called home for the past three years.

Needless to say, Jeremiah 29:11 was the last thing to come to mind....

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. then you will all upon me and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD..." 

We all have heard it a million times, especially in times like I had on Thursday. Times where we have NO idea what we are going to do with our lives. No idea of where we're going to live or work or what we're going to do. I have NO idea what this next season of life will look like for me. I do know a few things though. 

1. I know the Lord already knows and I trust Him because of who He is.
2. I know I love kids (especially teenagers) and want to spend the rest of my life serving them.
3. I know I'm willing to do whatever the Lord wants.
4. And, I know all I want is for people to come to know Jesus!

Other than those four things, I don't know what the future holds. I know that the Lord has placed on my heart, and that's teenagers and sharing the gospel with them. I know He's given me a heart for Africa and a heart to battle for people in prayer. Other than that.....I trust Him. 

I trust Him no matter what this next season holds. 

I trust Him and His plan for me because He knows me better than I know myself.

I trust Him because of who He is and not because of anything I have done...

I trust Him completely.

Psalm 23.

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters, 

He restore my soul, 

He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 

I will fear no evil, 

for you are with me; 

your rod and your staff, 

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; 

you anoint my heard with oil; 

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, 

and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.