Stirred up

Today, at D-school Randy and Callye Boyd came to speak to us. They are a very powerful couple who love the Lord and have a heart for His people. After hearing Callye speak today, I realized I want to be just like her.
She is a woman of God.
She loves the Lord.
She is strong.
She is powerful and walks in the authority Jesus gave her.
She loves well.
And people are drawn to Jesus because of the love she shows them.
She is confident in the promises God has told her.
She walks by faith.
She is humble.
She challenges her family.
She submits to her husband.
She is transparent.
She dies to herself daily and does the will of God.

Lord, teach me to be all these things in my own way. That these things wouldn't lead to comparison, but would challenge me to let you grow me. They would teach me to be transparent. Teach me to love well and uncondiotionally. Only you can transform me Jesus. I want to be more like you. Not my will, but yours be done.

Off-Season Workouts

So, I always was an athlete. I played everything there was to play. Did the hardest workouts of my life, and sometimes extra to get in shape for the specific sport I was in, especially if it was softball. There was an intensity in my workouts because of my passion to be excellent. I can remember staying after off-season workouts to run an extra two miles to be in shape for pitching. (Part of it was I was running away from reality because I didn't want to deal with the boyfriend I had at the time and him getting on to me for not coming to his house right after school. Running gave me an excuse to not talk to him.) But, also part of it was because I wanted to be in tip-top shape for when it was time for me to shine and for all the eyes to be on me as I pitched my heart out on the pitchers mound. I had a passion to be excellent at pitching. I had a passion to see batters swing at my curve ball, to hear the umpire shout "Strike Three! You're Out!!" and do the motion with his hands saying the batter was out. I had a passion to see the batter walk back to the dug out hanging there head down, and for everyone to be shouting for me and what I had just done. I had a passion for my name to be known all around our district for my junk pitches that kept batters on their toes. And I worked hard to be excellent. Many times I would fail or have an off day, but my passion to be excellent was still there. My conviction to be excellent was still there.

Right now, I feel like I am in the "off-season" in this season in my life. Not that I'm not pouring out into people or telling people about Jesus, but that I am in a break from school and the business that comes with taht. And I am in a season of preparation for the future season He is going to take me into. I am preparing for battle. I'm preparing for His glory to shine through me and the gifts He is giving me right now. I am studying hard, reading a lot, and diving deeper with the Lord and learning more about His heart for me and for His people. I have a passion for His name to be glorified in my life. I have a conviction for His name and glory to be spread all around the world like He has always planned. For people to see Him shine brightly in my life, instead of them seeing me. I have a passion for His glory to be spread among the earth and people to know Him and the life He has for them to grab a hold of. "Passion is not a feeling. It is a conviction. Even when we don't feel it we can worship Jesus and lift His name higher because we know He is worthy." (14:12). I have a passion for satan to flee from people's lives and chains to be broken because Jesus gave us all authority and all I have to do is say, "You're out of there!!!!" I have a passion for all peoples to hear the gospel so God can finally send satan back to the burning fire where he belongs. To see him walk with His head down back to his dug out, while the Lord stands on the pitchers mound shining with ALL of His glory! I have a passion for the Lord's name to be lifted high in every nation and for Him to draw nations to himself! (John 12:32) I want to work for the glory of the Lord with intensity and passion for His name to win hearts!

I have an everlasting conviction that Jesus is Lord and He is more than worthy of having control of my life. His name is more than worthy of being lifted high in my life, and being spread among the nations. Even when I don't feel like it. Even when I am tired. Jesus will be lifted higher in my life because He is worthy.

I want to be in tip-top shape for future seasons the Lord has instore for me, and for the battles the Lord has equipped me and continues to equip me in I am facing today. I want the same intensity I had to workout so I could be excellent at pitching, to go deeper with the Lord. The intensity of going after His heart for His will to be done all over the earth.

Jesus, all for your glory I am yours. Not my will, but yours be done. Refine me, remake me, remove my selfishness from me, so that your glory will be known to those around me. And people will come to know you because your radiance shines through me. Not my will, but yours be done.

John 3:30