A Beautiful Exchange: Eve

Discipleship school may be over, but the fire the Lord lit inside my heart has not been quenched--it has actually been multiplied. I feel like such a hungry little baby and all I want to do is sit at my Father's feet and let Him feed me. This past week I have been going over teachings from d-school and listening to the teachings that really stirred my heart. While going back over my notes I came across a pink sheet about the women in Bible that Deanna Fields gave us during our "Woman of God" talk. I really enjoyed Deanna's talk and how she told us we have to fight. We were not meant to be women in distress, although sometimes our men need to be able to rescue us. God made us to be warriors just like men. He made us to fight for our families through prayer.

So, I started going over the pink sheet she gave us and it started with Eve. On the sheet there were three columns: Column 1: Women of the Bible--it was the woman, and where you could find them in the Bible; Column 2: what that woman let go of; and Column 3: what that woman picked up in exchange for what she let go of. For example, Eve was the first woman and "she exchanged death for hope of redemption." At first I was a bit confused. I asked myself, "How did Eve pick up hope? She basically lost both her sons after Cain killed Able." So I went back and read the whole story Deanna had written down on the sheet.

As I read I heard the Lord say, "Her hope was in my promise to her, not in her circumstance." This made me think back on Sunday at lifegroup when we split up into groups and talked about what we learned this summer. Something Brett said going along with what he had learned was, "God means what He says. He doesn't just say something and then is like 'Ooops, why'd I say that! Now I have to actually do it. No, He means what He says when He speaks." And this is exactly what Eve held on to.

In Genesis 3:15, the Lord says "...he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel." and then Genesis 4: 25 says, "And Adam knew his wife again, and she bore a son and called his name Seth, for she said, "God has appointed for me another offspring instead of Abel, for Cain killed him." The Lord spoke and said that something would come through Eve (her seed) and stomp the serpent. Eve held tight to the promises of the Lord because she had been with Him and knew His character.

So many times I find myself doubting the things the Lord has told me. I question the things He has prophesied to me through other people and the things He has told me himself. I often find myself saying, "Well, I probably made that up", or "I must have heard wrong, He wouldn't promise me that." Eve has encouraged me to cling tight to the things the Lord has said to me. Even if I heard wrong, clinging to His promises will draw me closer to Him and keep me safe in His arms. Knowing He is faithful and keeps His promises is so freeing, and He longs for us to walk in that freedom!

One of my favorite scriptures of all time.
Isaiah 54:10-14
"For the mountiains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you. "O afflicted one, storm-tossed and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in antimony, and lay your foundations with sapphires. I will make your pinnacles of agate (jasper/ruby), your gates of carbuncles (crystal), and your wall of precious stones. All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children. In righteousness you shall be established; you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear; and from terror, for it shall not come near you."

Eve exchanged death for hope of redemption because she clung to the faithfulness of the Lord.

Lord, give me eyes to see and remember your faithfulness in my life. Transform my heart to be so confident in the power of your great love that in all circumstances my hope is in you. I cling to the promises you have spoke over my life. I cling tight to the desires in my heart you have promised to fulfill. Please continue to reveal your faithfulness to me. I trust you. And I love you. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Today, I am ready!

Almost 5 days until my dream of going to Africa comes true. This day I will never forget. Not only because I will be going to Uganda, but also because this day represents the Lord's faithfulness to me. When I was very little the Lord wrote "Africa" on my heart. I never knew why, but even when I was lost I would always say, "I'm going to move to Africa," or "I just want to go be with the orphans in Africa." I didn't realize until I started D-school that the reason I always said those things is because the Lord wrote "Africa" on my heart before the beginning of time. And eventhough I was lost and didn't know the Lord, His word spoken over my life was always going to be on my heart. Once I came to know the Lord, He began to give me more of His heart for Africa. The more I seeked His heart, the more He stirred me up.

Now, after a journey of not knowing the Lord, to being radically rocked by His love and His community He has placed in my life; my dream of going to comes true! It seems so surreal to me. I always wanted to go, but never thought it would happen. And now that I am following the Lord and going after His Kingdom, He is taking me to the place that He gave me His heart for. I no longer only get to stand in the gap for those people, but I get to go!

He's letting me go!

I feel like a little kid who has been waiting every since they were in kindergarden to play on the big playground, but they were always told that was for big kids. The little kid who always had to watch the big kids have all the fun playing on the monkey bars, slide down the twisty slide, and jump from tire to tire. But now, my teacher says, "Today, you are ready. You get to go play on the big playground. You get to go to the place you have been dreaming of going ever since you were a little girl." This is how I feel with my trip to Africa. I feel like all those years of waiting to go were the Lord bringing my life into alignment with His plan. It was Him growing me in the things of His kingdom so that when I go I won't just be going. I will be going and the Kingdom of God will be coming with me!

My dad is so faithful in His promises and His timing is perfect!
Thank you Jesus for being patient with me.

Stirred up

Today, at D-school Randy and Callye Boyd came to speak to us. They are a very powerful couple who love the Lord and have a heart for His people. After hearing Callye speak today, I realized I want to be just like her.
She is a woman of God.
She loves the Lord.
She is strong.
She is powerful and walks in the authority Jesus gave her.
She loves well.
And people are drawn to Jesus because of the love she shows them.
She is confident in the promises God has told her.
She walks by faith.
She is humble.
She challenges her family.
She submits to her husband.
She is transparent.
She dies to herself daily and does the will of God.

Lord, teach me to be all these things in my own way. That these things wouldn't lead to comparison, but would challenge me to let you grow me. They would teach me to be transparent. Teach me to love well and uncondiotionally. Only you can transform me Jesus. I want to be more like you. Not my will, but yours be done.

Off-Season Workouts

So, I always was an athlete. I played everything there was to play. Did the hardest workouts of my life, and sometimes extra to get in shape for the specific sport I was in, especially if it was softball. There was an intensity in my workouts because of my passion to be excellent. I can remember staying after off-season workouts to run an extra two miles to be in shape for pitching. (Part of it was I was running away from reality because I didn't want to deal with the boyfriend I had at the time and him getting on to me for not coming to his house right after school. Running gave me an excuse to not talk to him.) But, also part of it was because I wanted to be in tip-top shape for when it was time for me to shine and for all the eyes to be on me as I pitched my heart out on the pitchers mound. I had a passion to be excellent at pitching. I had a passion to see batters swing at my curve ball, to hear the umpire shout "Strike Three! You're Out!!" and do the motion with his hands saying the batter was out. I had a passion to see the batter walk back to the dug out hanging there head down, and for everyone to be shouting for me and what I had just done. I had a passion for my name to be known all around our district for my junk pitches that kept batters on their toes. And I worked hard to be excellent. Many times I would fail or have an off day, but my passion to be excellent was still there. My conviction to be excellent was still there.

Right now, I feel like I am in the "off-season" in this season in my life. Not that I'm not pouring out into people or telling people about Jesus, but that I am in a break from school and the business that comes with taht. And I am in a season of preparation for the future season He is going to take me into. I am preparing for battle. I'm preparing for His glory to shine through me and the gifts He is giving me right now. I am studying hard, reading a lot, and diving deeper with the Lord and learning more about His heart for me and for His people. I have a passion for His name to be glorified in my life. I have a conviction for His name and glory to be spread all around the world like He has always planned. For people to see Him shine brightly in my life, instead of them seeing me. I have a passion for His glory to be spread among the earth and people to know Him and the life He has for them to grab a hold of. "Passion is not a feeling. It is a conviction. Even when we don't feel it we can worship Jesus and lift His name higher because we know He is worthy." (14:12). I have a passion for satan to flee from people's lives and chains to be broken because Jesus gave us all authority and all I have to do is say, "You're out of there!!!!" I have a passion for all peoples to hear the gospel so God can finally send satan back to the burning fire where he belongs. To see him walk with His head down back to his dug out, while the Lord stands on the pitchers mound shining with ALL of His glory! I have a passion for the Lord's name to be lifted high in every nation and for Him to draw nations to himself! (John 12:32) I want to work for the glory of the Lord with intensity and passion for His name to win hearts!

I have an everlasting conviction that Jesus is Lord and He is more than worthy of having control of my life. His name is more than worthy of being lifted high in my life, and being spread among the nations. Even when I don't feel like it. Even when I am tired. Jesus will be lifted higher in my life because He is worthy.

I want to be in tip-top shape for future seasons the Lord has instore for me, and for the battles the Lord has equipped me and continues to equip me in I am facing today. I want the same intensity I had to workout so I could be excellent at pitching, to go deeper with the Lord. The intensity of going after His heart for His will to be done all over the earth.

Jesus, all for your glory I am yours. Not my will, but yours be done. Refine me, remake me, remove my selfishness from me, so that your glory will be known to those around me. And people will come to know you because your radiance shines through me. Not my will, but yours be done.

John 3:30

Father, drench me in Proverbs 31.

"I will no longer be weighted down by friends and family talks with the concern of my biological clock, because I serve the author of time...who is not subject to time, but I am subject to Him. He has the ability to stop, fast forward, or rewind time. If we could role play, you would be Abraham and I would be Sarah; or you would be Isaac and I would be Rebekah--a servan'ts answered prayer. I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh, made up of your rib Adam. And once we meet, like electrons, I will be drawn to your nucleus, completely indivisible atom....We were all made in His image, but you have the ability to refect, project, and even detect the Son. If I were to explain what you were to look like, you'd have to be a star. A son of the Son. I would gain energy simply by the light that you shine on me. I would need you in order to complete my photosynthesis....I will wait for you.

And I will know you, because when you speak...
I will be reminded of Solomon's wisdom.
Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses.
Your faith will remind me of Abraham.
Your confidence in God's word will remind me of Daniel.
Your inspiration will remind me of Paul.
Your heart for God will remind me of David.
Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah.
Your integrity will remind me of Joseph.
Your ability to abandon your own will will remind me of the disciples.
And your ability to love selflessly and uncondionally will remind me of Christ.

But I won't need to identify you by any special math piece, or any special marks; because His word will be tatted all over your heart.

And you will know me, and you will fine me where the boldness of Ester meets the warm closeness of Ruth. Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary, which is ingulfed in the tears of a praying Hannah.

I will be the one drenched in Proverbs 31.

Waiting for you."

These are not my words, but this aligns perfectly with my heart. I desire all these things. I desire these characteristics in a man, and I also desire to be anything like these noble women who love the Lord.

But more than anything, I desire to submit to the will of my Father. The author of the greatest love story of all time. I desire to trust Him completely, and wait on Him patiently. He is the only one who truly satisfies my every desire, and who continues to faithfully pursue every corner of my heart. I trust Him. I love Him. So even if He calls me to a life of singleness, I will be satisfied in His love. I will be giddy in His presence and tickled by His touch.

Whatever He may have instore for me, I trust His heart and plan for me.

I will be the one drenched in Proverbs 31 not for the approval of man, but to bring joy to my Father.

(Here is the website for the poem. The whole thing is powerful. Her words are powerful and the way the Lord speaks through her is powerful.)
http://theresurgence.com/2011/04/06/a-poem-for-all-single-people-pass-it-on

I Will Wait...

Walking back from my exam I was just talking to the Lord and praising Him for giving me desires He is revealing to me more and more every day, but also surrendering them back to Him...because they're good, but my focus needs to be on the Lord, not on my feelings.

And I hear, "Wait".

Such a simple word, but yet sometimes so hard to do. Waiting can sometimes be the hardest thing to do. It is often the most beneficial, but definitely the hardest!

When I was walking to my car I just started praising the Lord in my own song--I don't know where it came from, but here it is....

I will wait on you Lord.
It's you that I want.
All my hope is in you,
I know my future is secure.
So I will wait.
And sing praises to you name.
I will wait.
And seek only your face.
I will wait.
Becaust I trust your plan for me.
You've written every detail, every person that I'll meet.
You see the final picture, each stroke makes it complete.
So, I will wait on you, and it's you Lord that I seeek.
You love me and have good things instore.
In this waiting time I will grow to love you more!
You are all I want.
You're all I seek.
Without you, I am incomplete.

<3

God, give me more patience as I wait for you. I trust you and your perfect plan for me.

I will wait upon you Lord....

Somalia

I guess about a month ago World Mandate came to Beltway and spoke and stirred us up for going and loving the world. When we were there they told us to ask the Lord to give us a country. I, with little faith in hearing anything, asked the Lord for a country. And He answered me. He gave me Somalia. I didn't even know there was a country named that! I thought I had made it up in my head. So, when we were walking out of the church I whipped out my iPhone and googled it. Somalia is in fact a country....

I've been praying about it and researching it ever since then off and on. I believe that the Lord is calling me there, but yesterday when I was researching He gave me a few things He wants me to do to prepare me before I go.

1. Learn Somali or Arabic.
2. Study Sunni Isalm.
3. Pay half my student loans off.
4. Learn to live simply.

These are things I believe the Lord specifically calling me to do before He sends me there. Somalia is an evil, dark, and dangerous country. I'm beginning that I can't just go....as much as I want to. There are some practical things the Lord wants me to learn and grow in before I go.

Do I believe the Lord is calling me to go there one day? Yes!
Do I believe Somalia will be my home one day? Yes!
Do I believe the Lord is growing me in things here before it's time for Him to send me? Yes!
Do I believe that day is right when I get out of college? No.

I know the Lord isn't done with me. There is still so many things He is going to teach me and things in my life where I still need to grow.

Something Lindsay said today confirmed my thinking that He wasn't calling me there right now, but in the future. She said, "99% of the time when the Lord gives us a word, it's for the future, eventhough we want it to be for right now."

So now, I will wait patiently upon the Lord and pray without ceasing for that countries hearts to be softened to the gospel; and for the Holy Spirit to fall on those people!

I also am praying the Lord will give me more of His heart for Muslims and more of an understanding of their religion and rituals.

Just more of His heart in general.

These precious babies need to know the love of the Lord!

Lord, mold me to what you want and send me out! I want to be the vessle of your love that loves these babies!!!!