Weeks after Spring Break

So, it's a few weeks after our spring break mission trip....these are the weeks you either increase in what the Lord did, or you lose it. I want to increase. I want to go deeper with the Father. I want to learn more. I want to love more. I want to see His kingdom come more! But....I'm learning, that none of this comes unless you rest in the presence of the Father. I can't love people on my own. I can 't heal peole on my own. I can't lead people to the Lord on my own. I can't intern for life group on my own. I can't lead people on my own. I NEED JESUS!!!! More than ever I have this increasing NEED for Him. I have this desperation for His presence to surround me, and if I don't have it I feel aweful. It's like coming off of a sugar high....it's so good when you have sugar, but once you give it up or don't have it for an extended period of time...you feel like you need it. You feel like if you don't have it you'll die. (okay, well maybe not, but that's how I feel right now.) I NEED JESUS! I need Him to guard my heart. I need Him to help me get through the day. I need Him to wake me up in the morning. I need Him to go to class. I need Him to read and have quiet time. I need Him to worship......without Him, it all means nothing. Without Jesus, I have NO purpose! World Mandate from Waco came to Beltway on Wednesday. That night, more than ever I realized my need for Jesus and my purpose here on earth. My purpose isn't to be confortable and to "live my life to the fullest". My purpose is to be COMPLETELY surrendered to the Lord and abandoned to my selfish desires. My purpose is to be completely sold out for the gospel. Completely aligned with the Father's heart and His desire for His people to be with Him forever! He wants all of us. Every tongue and every nation to sing forever in the throne room. AND, He wants to USE ME to make that happen! That's my purpose! That's why I'm here on earth! I'm here so HE can USE me!!!!!! There's nothing I want more than to be used by the Lord to love His people and increase His kingdom. There's nothing I want more than to go to the nations who have never heard and spread the gospel. There's nothing I want more than to be martyred for the sake of the gospel (intense, I know; but there's nothing I want more than to die for the sake of Christ). He has blessed me so much, the least I can do is be a vestle for His kingdom and partner with Him to fill the desires He has for His people! In His presence there is boldness and confidence! In His presence is the fullness of joy! In His presence He satisfies our every desire!!!!! <3 So Jesus, I just pray for an increasing of your kingdom here on earth. I ask God that you would raise up leaders and stir up your people so you can come back! We want you to come and be with us! We want to see your face! I know that this means more tragidy will come, but I have confidence in your love. And I know that when it seems the earth is crumbling, that is when you make yourself most known. That is when people need you, and that is when you COME! So God, I just ask that you come. Come raise us up. Come give us more love. More of your love to love people. I love you so much. Thank you for loving all of us. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen!