Even Now....

Last week I didn't feel the Lord at all....I couldn't feel His presence. I couldn't hear Him. I just felt alone....But I know I wasn't....I've kinda been feeling like that all day today....just kinda empty and alone.

But today, while sitting at my vanity getting ready to go to a going away dinner for my friend Raquel the song "Even Now" by United Pursuit Band came on and the words hit me right in the heart.....

Doesn’t always work like I planned it

I’ve seen a lot of good things
And a lot of things
Have been out of my hands
But even when I don’t understand it
We have all got choices to make
And this one is mine
Even now here’s my heart, God

Seems like all you do is so hidden
Sometimes I led to wonder
Are you working at all
But even in the darkness I’m listening
To your still small voice in the distance
I heed your call.
Even now here’s my heart, God I’m in Love Running out of reasons to doubt you
Can’t live another day here without you
Even now here’s my heart, God
I’m in Love Am
Your love is sweeter than honey
Your love is stronger than death
Your love lifts me of my burdens
And teaches me to dance

Even now, when I can't feel Him, I know He's working on incredible things in my life. Even now, when I feel empty, I know He's about to bless me abundantly. Even now, when I feel like I'm striving to show joy and let it pour out, He's about to cover me with blessings. Even now, when I feel like I have nothing left to give to people, He's about to give graciously through me....Even now, in the times I feel lonely but don't want to be around people, He's going to bless me with His presence, which is the fullness of joy!!!!
 
I trust Him. I trust the season He has put me in. I trust the things He's doing in my heart and the perseverance He's teaching me.....despite the circumstances I'm in, I trust Him and His heart for me!
 
I'm in love with the Lord, and I know He's in love with me. And when you're in love, you don't just "grow out of love". You persevere through sickness and health, through the times when you feel like you're on the top of the world, or in the middle of a bottom-less pit. You push through. And in the end, you grow more intimate than you could ever imagine.
 
That is my hope.
 
"But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the LORD’s praise, for he has been good to me." Psalm 13:15-16