When I was a little girl my favorite game was playing barbies, or house. I would always want to make the barbies live life out. First, they'd start in college. Then, they'd find a boy and they'd get married. Then, they'd have babies and raise them. Lather, Rince, Repeat....lol But really, that was how my brain worked. I think that is how every little girl is trained to think when they are younger. Because of movies and our culture we're brought up thinking that marriage and having kids is all we are suppose to do in life. That is our purpose, and if we don't fulfill our purpose something is wrong with us. In the book Lady In Waiting the author says. "Too many women grow up believing that the inconsolable ache in her heart is for 'a man.' To love a man, get married, and then have children is thought to be the only script that will satisfy her heart's deepest longing. But no man, woman, or child can appease this longing; it can only be satisfied by the ultimate Bridegroom, Christ Jesus." This quote is SO true and something I've been processing, and even breaking the chain of that lie for a while now....Jesus is our fulfillment. Intimacy with Him is our heart's desire!
Over spring break trip the Lord called me into a season of intentional singleness. It's been really good just to be able to focus on the Lord and His heart for me, and not even subconsciously seek something with anyone other than the Lord. I'm learning how to be in complete intimacy with the Lord....the Lord was becoming more of my lover than anything else to me. He is satisfying my heart in all the corners I didn't even know were there... Through this season the Lord has really been pointing me to Song of Solomon 2:16, "My lover is mine and I am his, he browses among the lillies." One way this verse has been speaking to me is.... Jesus is my LOVER! He is my fulfillment, and no man here on earth can ever take His place. Jesus desire me. He loves me. He calls me beautiful and thinks I'm worth His love!!!! What? I'm worth it! That's just crazy to me. Me; broken, selfish, nasty me, He thinks I'm worth His love. Not only just as my father, but I'm worthy of the most intimate love He created. I'm worthy of His love as my soul mate. The one my heart becomes one with. He is that man for me! During this season I'm becoming very content with being single. I'm content with what the Lord is doing in my life, and how He's loving me. I still have the desire to be married and raise godly children to go after the Lord, but I'm also content with it just being me and Jesus. He's all my heart needs! that's something I'm really learning and really trying to cling to!
Through this season I'm also learning to honor my future husband more (if the Lord has that in His plan for me). I really have been trying to watch my actions, dress, and words around my brothers. Not only to honor whoever the Lord has for me to be with, but also to honor my brothers and the women the Lord has for them. I think it's a beautiful thing when we can all walk in community together as one body. As the church. I know we are humans, but how great would it be that we could walk together without any distractions or confusion about our actions and words with each other? How much more could we do for Jesus? How much MORE would God's kingdom come to earth?!!! How many more people could be hearing about Jesus and could no longer be eternally seperated from God! I think we should learn to radically honor each other as brothers and sisters. I'm not quite sure what it looks like yet, but what could it hurt to be completely selfless when interacting with each other. That we wouldn't perform for promoting ourselves, but we would honor one another in love and push each other closer to Jesus ALL the times we interact with each other!
Today during section lifegroup, I really felt like I could feel the sweet love of the Lord. He gave me this vision of us skipping through this field. I couldn't see his face, but I knew it was him. I was dressed in an all white dress, my hair was long and curled, and He had placed a sunflower in my hair behind my ear. (He knows sunflowers are my favorite!) Anyways, we just skipped and ran and walked through this field and picked more flowers. Then we went to this HUGE oak tree and He pushed me on this swing hanging from it and sang sweet sweet songs to me. Then we went and sat on this blanket and talked and laughed and he spoke a lot of identity to me. It was incredible!!! The Lord is just sweet. His love is sweet like honey. It's funny that I was kinda frustrated because Friday my heart was really stirred up with some things and I couldn't get back to where I wanted with the Lord. The feelings were keeping me from that because all I could think of was my worldly feelings. But the Lord encountered me in my frustration. He took it completely away with His sweet love for me and His relentless pursuit of my WHOLE heart!!! He is so good to me, so much more than I deserve!!! I just want to partner with Him and help every girl see and experience His love for them!!! His love is so much and so great!!! It's fulfilling and satisfying. In His presence is the fulness of joy!!
Jesus, help us to be world changers. Change our hearts so we become completely devoted to honoring one another. That it won't matter what situation we're in, but in everything we would push each other closer to you. We would encourage each other rather than use sarcasm all the time. Lord, I just want to be radical for you. Please break us from bondage to the 'fear of man'. More than anything I want to please you. Would you change our hearts to want please you by honoring each other. Would you change our hearts to not worry about what the world thinks, but that we would change the world through our radical love for you and for each other! Jesus we love you, thank you for what you did for us and for constantly interceding for us with the Father. I love you, in Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
Through this season I'm also learning to honor my future husband more (if the Lord has that in His plan for me). I really have been trying to watch my actions, dress, and words around my brothers. Not only to honor whoever the Lord has for me to be with, but also to honor my brothers and the women the Lord has for them. I think it's a beautiful thing when we can all walk in community together as one body. As the church. I know we are humans, but how great would it be that we could walk together without any distractions or confusion about our actions and words with each other? How much more could we do for Jesus? How much MORE would God's kingdom come to earth?!!! How many more people could be hearing about Jesus and could no longer be eternally seperated from God! I think we should learn to radically honor each other as brothers and sisters. I'm not quite sure what it looks like yet, but what could it hurt to be completely selfless when interacting with each other. That we wouldn't perform for promoting ourselves, but we would honor one another in love and push each other closer to Jesus ALL the times we interact with each other!
Today during section lifegroup, I really felt like I could feel the sweet love of the Lord. He gave me this vision of us skipping through this field. I couldn't see his face, but I knew it was him. I was dressed in an all white dress, my hair was long and curled, and He had placed a sunflower in my hair behind my ear. (He knows sunflowers are my favorite!) Anyways, we just skipped and ran and walked through this field and picked more flowers. Then we went to this HUGE oak tree and He pushed me on this swing hanging from it and sang sweet sweet songs to me. Then we went and sat on this blanket and talked and laughed and he spoke a lot of identity to me. It was incredible!!! The Lord is just sweet. His love is sweet like honey. It's funny that I was kinda frustrated because Friday my heart was really stirred up with some things and I couldn't get back to where I wanted with the Lord. The feelings were keeping me from that because all I could think of was my worldly feelings. But the Lord encountered me in my frustration. He took it completely away with His sweet love for me and His relentless pursuit of my WHOLE heart!!! He is so good to me, so much more than I deserve!!! I just want to partner with Him and help every girl see and experience His love for them!!! His love is so much and so great!!! It's fulfilling and satisfying. In His presence is the fulness of joy!!
Jesus, help us to be world changers. Change our hearts so we become completely devoted to honoring one another. That it won't matter what situation we're in, but in everything we would push each other closer to you. We would encourage each other rather than use sarcasm all the time. Lord, I just want to be radical for you. Please break us from bondage to the 'fear of man'. More than anything I want to please you. Would you change our hearts to want please you by honoring each other. Would you change our hearts to not worry about what the world thinks, but that we would change the world through our radical love for you and for each other! Jesus we love you, thank you for what you did for us and for constantly interceding for us with the Father. I love you, in Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
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