20 Random Things

So, I'm pretty random, quirky and I like really random things. My mom calls me "well-rounded", but you know moms, they all think their babies are something special. Lol

I'm gonna tell y'all 20 random things about me...

1. I absolutely LOVE Jesus. He has won my heart and holds it forever. I'll never love anyone or anything more than I love Him. He has saved me from death and never fails to give me joy and peace in times of trials. He has proved himself worthy of my life and heart by all He's done for me.

2. I have the best family in the world! We have been through so much the past couple of months and through it all, we have grown to love each other more. I think we've learned what it means to be selfless and pick each other up when things aren't going the way we planned for them to go.

3. I hardly ever get mad and if I ever do I can't stay mad for very long. I don't see the point in anger--it takes away from the beauty of life. Life is precious and priceless, and anger tips the joy of life away.

4. Baking is my favorite form of therapy. I love it. It's relaxing to me. I like to bake for other people, I guess it's a way I show love.

5. I love painting. I get very self conscious of my painting because I don't think they are very good, but painting is a way I worship the Lord. I love reading verses and letting the Lord give me a picture in my imagination and then putting it on canvas.

6. Sunflowers are my favorite flower. I'd take them over roses any day!!!

7. I'm a little kid at heart. I don't take things too seriously, unless I know I have to. I like to play on playgrounds (swinging is my favorite), to watch Disney movies, and to color. Life is too precious to not have fun!

8. I have a huge screw in my fifth metatarsal.

9. My favorite color is blue, but favorite color to wear is black (no, I'm not gothic, just classy).

10. Africa is my favorite place in the world. I haven't been many other places, but I know it's my favorite. I live the people, the culture, and the land. It's beautiful!

11. My dream would to one day open a home for women and children who are "stuck" in abusive relationships. I think I have gone through certain things in my life to be able to relate to these people, and have a heart to make them know their worth and value, and that they shouldn't be treated like this.

12. My other dream would be to be a public speaker to promote awareness I what abusive teenage relationships look like and to share my story with teenage girls all over.

13. I have curly hair. I usually wear it straight, but it's naturally curly.

14. I played softball for 14 years and miss it every day.

15. Baseball is my favorite! I have this dream to go to every baseball stadium in america before I die.

16. Spring is my favorite season. It just makes you feel happy and like its a season of new beginnings.

17. I can't wait to be a mom and wife one day. I can't wait to get to serve and love someone selflessly for the rest of my life!

18. I'm a terrible dancer, but I love it!!

19. I sing really loud in the car by myself to all different kinds of music, anything but screemo and techno!

20. I really hate talking about myself. I'd rather listen to someone else talk, but I do talk a lot.

30 Things

So I kinda stole these questions from another girl's blog I found on Pinterest. I thought it would be fun to answer these questions about myself: dreams, passions, hopes, strengths, weaknesses, etc...This could potentially be hilarious for me and for whoever reads this.

Here's the questions: 

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamics of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

Tattoos & Scars

We all have scars--internal and external we all have them. The external ones may be from falling off a bike or breaking a bone and having surgery. And the internal, well we live in a broken world, so we've all had our heart broken once or twice...

Today at work I was looking at my feet...weird I know, but sometimes there's nothing better to do when you're lifeguarding an empty pool....I looked at my left foot and saw a few scars. One particularly got me thinking. It was the scar from when I got a thorn in my foot in Uganda, Africa and had to go to the hospital....yes, the Ugandan hospital! I was reminded of how faithful the Lord was in using the unfortunate discouraging event and using it for me to experience His love. I remember sitting in the emergency room with a child screaming a bed over (we think he was being circumcised but that's besides the point) and my mind could do only one thing...and that was pray! The Lord taught me during that time that in the craziness and when life gets loud to just pray. Talk to the man One who has my heart and can bring peace and comfort...I needed to hear this today. The Lord knew it...maybe that's why he made no one come in the pool for so long :)

My reflection on internal scars goes with my tattoo story, so I'll get to that in a second. I have two tattoos, yes, I said it, two. One I got when I turned 18 as an act of rebellion because I knew my parents would hate it. And the other is on my wrist. It says "Love 1 Cor. 13"...or at least that's what it's supposed to say. It actually says, "Love 1 Chor 13"...if you know me, you know I'm a TERRIBLE speller, and when I say terrible I mean really really TERRIBLE! So being a terrible speller didn't help the fact that I hadn't opens my bible in probably a year....so when I went to get my tattoo I drew it out and as soon as I knew it it was permanent. I went home, opened my bible and found that my tattoo was misspelled. Yes, MISSPELLED!!! Theres no H in Corinthians, well not at the beginning at least. So I laughed for a second, and then I cried for longer than that. I thought of what an idiot I would look like when I showed people and how they'd laugh at me. So for the longed time I tried to cover it up and when people saw it I'd get really nervous about whether they'd even notice it or not. Then one day I showed a friend and she pointed out what a cool story it is and what a reminder of how far the Lord has brought me...so every time I see it I think of the deep pit the Lord drew me out of and how I am so thankful He did.

When I see it I think of all the times my heart has been broken, and how the Lord has restored it every time. My heart has been broken in the past from an abusive ex-boyfriend and hurtful words from the world around me, and recently from losing my Pa-a man I look up to and love so much. But my scars make me thankful, not afraid to live life, but thankful that I have a mighty God who restores the broken hearted and comforts those who mourn.

So when you look at your scars remember the past, remember what caused them, and be thankful for where the Lord has brought you from. Remember the faithfulness of Jesus and how He never leaves. Never.

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned." Psalm 34:18, 19, 22

Nearer, My God, to thee, nearer to Thee!

Two weeks ago today my Pa went home to be with Jesus...

You'd think after two weeks it would have gotten easier, but it hasn't. If anything, it's harder. I miss him so much more. I miss my family so much more! I know Pa will want me to move on and be happy, and there are moments when I am very happy, but there are also moments when I am sad. I'm starting to have more happy/content moments, but I'm still sad. I also feel like I haven't had time to be sad. I haven't had time to cry, to weep. I feel like I've been shoved back into school and work and being social and I just want time to be sad. So, that's what I'm doing right now. I'm being sad.....On a Saturday night I sit in my room, crying...

I know these tears will turn to laughing one day and this sadness will turn into joy. That is what I'm clinging to.
That is my only HOPE!

Contentment

As I sat on my couch watching Sweet Home Alabama cuddled up in my blanket tonight, I felt a feeling I have never felt before. It was a feeling that was happy and peaceful. I didn't find myself longing to be anywhere else. I didn't find myself longing to be with anyone else. And I didn't find myself longing to be doing anything else.

I'll just be honest, usually I am wanting to be with a boy. Any boy. Most of the time it's a man with the qualities I have always dreamed of, but sometimes it's anyone. Sometimes I decide to settle. Sometimes I decide to compromise every dream I have ever had just to be with someone, anyone. Sometimes, I'm beyond desperate.

But tonight wasn't like that.
I felt at peace with where I was.
I felt happy.
I felt content.

If I have learned anything over these last couple of weeks while watching my Pa die and seeing the impact he had on so many people it's this: I HAVE to live my life for Jesus and Him alone. He is first and then everything else will fall into place.

For so long I have preached those words to so many people. I've told them to myself so many times as well, but never really got it. I never really grabbed hold of what that really meant until now. I GET IT!!!
Living a life that matters means living in contentment. It's not becoming apathetic or stagnant, but being content with where you are, what you have, and who you're with; and using all those things to glorify Jesus and be a light in the darkness. It's keeping your integrity and using every opportunity you have to bring glory to the name of Jesus!

I don't know where this contentment came from, but I'm thankful it did.

The Preacher Won't Have to Lie by Paul O'Rear

This is the article the preacher of my Great-Grandmother and Aunt's church wrote after attending my Pa's funeral on Tuesday. 

"I attended the funeral of Bob Pearson in Waco on Tuesday. Bob was the son of Bernice Pearson and the brother of Delores Pearson. My heart aches for these two wonderful Christian ladies, and for the rest of Bob’s family, in their tremendous loss.

As I sat there listening to three different men talk about Bob — the kind of family man and friend and church leader and business man that he was — I found myself thinking, “I sure would like to have known Bob.” It was obvious from the heartfelt comments made at the funeral, and from the number of people in attendance, that Bob Pearson was a good man, a godly man, a man who made a positive difference in the lives of those who knew him.

Funerals can be funny things. (Not funny as in “ha ha”, obviously, but rather funny as in odd or interesting.) The meanest scoundrel is often made out to be a beneficent humanitarian at his funeral. Preachers feel obligated to say something nice about the deceased at his funeral, even if they have to dig deep and look hard to find it. That's just the nature of funerals.

There’s an old Lee Ann Womack song entitled, “The Preacher Won’t Have to Lie”. The chorus says, “The choices you make, the chances you take, they'll follow you all of your life. I'm just tryin' to live so when I die, the preacher won't have to lie.”

The preacher didn’t have to lie at Bob Pearson’s funeral on Wednesday. I hope that you and I can live our lives in such a way that the preacher won’t have to lie at our funerals, either."

15 Days of Sorrow....

"A time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;" Ecclesiastes 3: 3-4

December 27, 2011 was a time of weeping.

January 7, 2012 started a time of mourning.

The promise I cling to is after the weeping there is laughter. And after the mourning there is dancing.

I love to laugh.
I'm a terrible dancer, but I love to dance.